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Writer's pictureTarik McMillan, LPC

Keep Dem Ting To Yuhself



As Caribbean people, many of us grew up in households where the phrase, “what happens in the house, stays in the house” is law. We often apply this concept to other domains of our lives and as we grow older, we rarely share the things that bother us. This is often compounded by a culture that stigmatizes any expression of pain or weakness. Think about the phrase often told to children, ”You waan me give you something to cry for?” and the implication that whatever it was that hurt you, was not a justification for crying. There’s also something to be said about the implication that physical violence is the only justifiable thing to cry about. It’s critical that we explore how these messages affect a person’s ability or willingness to express themselves when they are in pain or feel sad, as well as the coping skills we develop when we exist in spaces where the expression of those feelings has negative consequences.

There’s also something to be said about the implication that physical violence is the only justifiable thing to cry about.

There’s some obvious bias here, but we advocate for therapy as a safe space to explore those expressions of pain and sadness. A therapy session is one of the few spaces where a person is free to explore and express themselves in the most authentic way they can(given you have a culturally intentional mental health professional to do this with). Although therapy can be life-changing, we as Caribbean people have to work towards creating more safe spaces in our communities to be able to express ourselves and work through the barriers that prevent us from thriving, especially when the stigma attached to speaking with a mental health professional prevents many from finding and utilizing this space.


This begins with taking a look at the way we interact with the world and the messages/beliefs in our culture that prevent us from showing up authentically and expressing ourselves. We have a long way to go in creating this version of the Caribbean, but considering the more frequent conversations about mental health in the Caribbean and the increased attention of its importance, we’re certainly headed in a promising direction.


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