Grief is the response to the loss of someone or something that we love. The way grief presents often varies from person to person but what most have in common is difficulty accepting the loss and the new reality that this is often associated with. In small communities, it's typical to have multiple connection points and circles of interaction. Grief can have a network effect in which the number of people being mourned and the number of people grieving increases the impact that grief has on that community. In Caribbean communities, where we often place a premium on the ability to overcome adversity in silence, this network effect of grief is seldom addressed and when it is, it’s met with an insistence to “be strong”.
In Caribbean communities ... grief is seldom addressed and when it is, it’s met with an insistence to “be strong”.
On an individual and community level, it’s critical that we allow ourselves the freedom to feel and experience the pain without pushing it to the side. Grief is a part of the human experience and when we deny ourselves the opportunity to process these emotions, we unknowingly disrupt the healing journey and the rebuilding of a new narrative around the loss. I’d be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge the barriers that prevent us from feeling the emotions. In our last blog post, we discussed the impact of poverty in small communities and the trauma that can follow. But living in poverty often means not having the privilege of taking days off to process grief. Some people are juggling several jobs while being a single parent or caretaker and literally cannot afford to take the time to feel.
The other barrier that prevents us from healing is the stigma attached to feeling, and expressing pain. The fear of being viewed as weak or helpless and the expectation to suffer in silence is enough to discourage many of us from asking for help. This is compounded when we internalize this stigma and judge ourselves for experiencing these emotions. As a community, we have to explore the ways we contribute to this stigma if we want to create sustainable change. We have to examine our definitions of strength and work to create safe spaces where people can grieve and heal in peace.
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